Vulture . by Robinson Jeffers

I had walked since dawn and lay down to rest on a bare hillside
Above the ocean. I saw through half-shut eyelids a vulture wheeling
high up in heaven,
And presently it passed again, but lower and nearer, its orbit
narrowing,
I understood then
That I was under inspection. I lay death-still and heard the flight-
feathers
Whistle above me and make their circle and come nearer.
I could see the naked red head between the great wings
Bear downward staring. I said, 'My dear bird, we are wasting time
here.
These old bones will still work; they are not for you.' But how
beautiful
he looked, gliding down
On those great sails; how beautiful he looked, veering away in the
sea-light
over the precipice. I tell you solemnly
That I was sorry to have disappointed him. To be eaten by that beak
and
become part of him, to share those wings and those eyes--
What a sublime end of one's body, what an enskyment; what a life
after death.

One year on

So my Rezz day has come and gone, and I seem to be back to the start again (only with slightly better hair)

Wandering the vast expanse last night, aimlessly looking for a place of meaning I pondered what SL is, has been and could be.

I first came to SL because of a newspaper article I read about the place which intrigued me. I didn't really know what to expect, I guess I was interested in the technology, the gimmick , the new experience.
What surprised me is that under all this, SL is fundamentally about people, the human race, the human mind.
It is never satisfied with itself.
It is full of emotions, negative (greed, lust, pride, jealousy, anger,) and positive (love, caring, creativity, friendship and joy).
It carries the weight of all the outside influence, the things we are bombarded with in our daily lives, advertising, expectations, the media, our cultural stereotypes. Yet it also frees us from much of this, we can become who we wish, we can loose some of our chains and take to the skies.

It is unlike anything I have ever been a part of and yet so much of it is familiar.
Hidden in the layers and layers of the pulp of human existence are jewels that sparkle. If you are lucky you might come across them before you sink in the quagmire.

So I don my waders, and set off hunting again.
Throw me a rope if I start to sink.

Walking for breast cancer charities

My good friend and work colleague will be walking a marathon through the streets of Edinburgh in her decorated bra in the next few weeks. She is part of a local group who are doing the Moonwalk to raise money for breast cancer research.
I admire her hugely not only because she is doing this as part of the many charity things she is involved in, not just because she has found time to do this despite work and family life (she has 4 kids at home and one away from home), not just because I have a family member who has suffered from breast cancer... but because on top of all of this she has suffered from chronic back pain for a large part of her life and this 26 miles will be all the more of a challenge because of it.

She sent an email to friends that reads..

"Some of you may already know that I am taking part in the 'WALK THE WALK' MOONWALK CHALLENGE, which is a full 26 mile marathon.
This will take place on June 14th to raise funds for Breast Cancer charities. I will be walking within a team of five ladies from my village -'THE KIRKBEAN FLYERS'!.
We have one particular friend who is fighting this disease at the moment, In fact we all know someone who has been affected by Breast Cancer.
As we walk we are celebrating the lives of of the brave ladies who are winning the battle and of those whom we have lost, so I am humbly asking for your support by sponsoring our team.
You can do this by following this link to our fundraising page.
If you don't want to donate this way then cheques or cash gifts will be gratefully received. THANKYOU.
I must go and tend my blisters now!"

If you want to help donate to them it would be well received ,if you want to donate but not online let me know and we can work something out.(removed my email as I am already getting junk mail, the spammers are so quick to pick up on it!!grr)

Burning bridges

Well I finally stopped debating and took some action.

I have left the Clerics Guild for good.
I wrote a farewell note, which I handed to Scyber to send to the Guild as a whole, I packed up all of my things from the guild building and I left.
(I still have my island, and will keep it until I can find another quiet spot to make a natural haven in.)

I realised the only thing keeping me was the people.
I had lost all faith in the stability of realm, the likelihood of anything happening for UK timed people, my search for the natural in the 'realm of castles' and my ability to work with the 'free' roleplay model.
So my heart wasn't truly there anymore. Better to have a cleric who still has faith to lead.
So I say farewell to Parlamay, my created Goddess, and hope that she ends up in safe hands.
I say farewell to all the wonderful clerics who I have had the honour of being with over this year,
and as I approach my Rez day, I look at how I might find future inspiration in Second Life.

Anyone with any ideas?

Freedom

Last night I was inworld for a cleric meeting. It was to be a speakers meeting with our new Divine Emissary Scyber Magne, to go over various Guild things and plan ahead.
Malakyte, Scyber, Alphonsus and myself attended.

I must say it was great to see Alph again after so long, even if it was to see him cut down his involvement in the guild and step down as Emissary.

Anyway it became apparent soon that the meeting was going to take a different tack, when we discovered that the new dark realm ruler Sarin had started his own cleric group, with 9 members worshiping 5 dark Gods who don't even appear in our Pantheon. Then we also discovered that the founder of the group was the realm queen Leanne.

I have spoken briefly to Sarin in the past about another issue, and he seemed OK, just having fun roleplaying and doing his evil thing.
However he has a very different view of the realm than I do I suspect. His world is driven mainly by him, he plays the moment, not the game as a whole, 'If it feels right, go with it'. I guess he's a shootem up player, rather than a strategist.
I tend to over think things, look at the intricacies of the world, feel the threads that bind us and try and strengthen them. I have always played strategy and puzzle games.
I would love to know how the realm leaders play Triskele.

It has always been billed as a freer place than Everwind was, in fact Leanne recently told me in plain words that all Guilds were instructed to NOT copy Everwind in any way.
And yet Guilds were formed, and encouraged to develop and make rules and guidelines and get people involved in 'group belonging', not just individual roleplay.
I was asked to help out, despite wanting to be just a plain acolyte again, and I agreed (foolishly or not)
So for the last 4 months or so, Alph, Mal and I have been working hard to make the guild, form orders, recruit clerics, write spell lists, create Pantheons, provide a place for worship, decide ranks, make tasks etc, etc,... which we have been hard at work doing.

So the question is this. Have we got it wrong?
Is what they want in Triskele a truly free roleplay? one driven by the individual, free to do as they please. Anarchic, independent, dynamic, ever changing and unbound.
Or is it one where the individual is guided by the group? Ordered, loyal, steady, joined by friendship and boundaries, honourable.

One is very different from the other, both can be great in their own ways, both with brilliance and flaws.

If the first is what is wanted, then we have wasted the last 4 months setting boundaries that were not required.
If so, then the Clerics can be freed, to roam where they will *chuckles* do as they please, worship whomever they choose, and I can head off into the ether and find my nature Goddess somewhere else.