Aldarian

Well I have a new virtual home.
I have moved into the realm of Aldarian.

I looked at many different realms, but never really felt at home in any of them. Then I was pointed in the direction of this new single sim realm.
As soon as I arrived I liked it. It is well made by someone with an eye for beauty and a nack for atmosphere.
It is only one sim, but it has all the elements for a good roleplay place. Homes for elves, fae, human and dark (although not really for dragon's, unless there is something in the sky I have yet to see, not enough space for dragons I guess)
Castle, village, gypsy camp, church, stone circle, ships, pub, blacksmith, guild buildings etc. They have packed lots in, yet it still feels natural.
The only thing missing is some secret places (like the great ones in Carmarthen) for rogues and the like. Perhaps I just havn't found them yet!

Then I heard that the admin/creative team was EU and UK based ,what more could I want.
I approached them and expressed an interest in joining as a healer and they kindly let me set up in a small roundhouse near the church. I now have two others who have said they would like to be healers also and am planning a get together, and possibly holding some basic RP classes for newbies as well.

Last night spent my first ever full ball in a RP realm (usually I have to go to bed halfway through). Finally something scheduled at a good time of day!!
I am in heaven.

Being creative

Inspired by Malakyte and all the work she has been doing in Triskele, I have come up with an idea (some help from Hobbit)for a 'welcome to the realm' type of quest in Carmarthenshire.

The idea is to give new people something to do when they arrive, even if the realm is quiet, and to help them to find their way around.
It involves a kind of treasure hunt (I know, I know, its not that interactive, but it is easy for beginners to do) at the end of which the player will have gained the 'keys to the realm' and explored most parts of it also.
I have passed the demo's and ideas to Oracle and will wait and see what she thinks.

I wont go into quest details, but what i wanted to share with you all was a couple of things which have helped me with it.
First the video's of the fantastic Torley Linden, especially the one on how to make tiny prims (so I could make the keys)
and second a fab site which makes basic scripts for you...genius!
A huge thank you to Torley and Hilary Mason and people like them, for giving so much free time and idea's to us all.

I will let you know what the realm think of my quest.

Long live Carmarthen?

Sadly things in my RP home don't seem to be getting any better now that everyone has come back from holiday.
In fact they are breaking apart...

The realm changes every time I enter it... not small changes... huge ones, like a whole hill and church vanishing overnight, and I have no idea what the grand plan is...my worry is that those managing the realm don't either.
I had a very bemused visit from the good knight Kendell the other day, he came back from a spell away and couldn't quite believe what had happened. We both tried desperately to RP our way around it, but sadly there is no RP plan in it.
I wish the realm would just shut.. sort itself out.. and then re-open.

I have tried hard this time not to get to involved too early, and I am very glad I did as tensions seem to be running high in the admins.
I find the whole thing very sad however, as the realm has so much promise, it just needs a stronger purpose.

I still hold a glimmer of hope... but time will tell

Childish?

I was shopping today in a large supermarket, and watching the other people as they walked around the shop.
I was thinking about my Second Life, full of dragons and dwarves, orcs and fairies, and wondering if any of the people passing me also had this kind of other identity.

We all look like fairly normal, everyday grown-ups, going about our grown up business. Planning dinner parties, packed lunches, picnics and midnight snacks, but some of us play 'childish' games as well.

When we are kids we play games pretty much non-stop, my children spend hours and hours in fantasy worlds of their own making, in make believe, and wild abandon. As we get older we are taught that its not appropriate to run down the street laughing, or dress up as a princess, wonderwoman or a tiger called Twinkletoes, or to make sandcastles and get muddy just for fun.
But do we really lose the urge to do these things?

Many of us seem now to turn to computers to give us the play we want, either on our PlayStation's, Xboxes, Wii's or in Second Life. This seems to be the acceptable face of adult playtime. Tucked away in our studies, or in front of the sitting room TV, private and hidden from disapproving stares.

But when I was a girl, I spent hours and hours playing beside the canal in Edinburgh. Riding my bike, making dens, catching newts in jam jars and staring at leeches with fascinated horror. I didn't really care what people thought of me, I was just so amazed and lost in everything.
I suspect many adults might sometimes like to do that now, but we just don't, because we might look silly and its not 'proper' for adults to behave that way.

Childishness is seen as weak, foolish and stupid.
I would rather look at it as innocent, inquisitive and fun.

When I am an old lady I hope I will still roll up my trousers and wade into rock pools looking for creatures.

Fun in the Shire

Well I finally have some Second Life news

After spending a month or so getting a feel for Carmarthenshire, beginning to work in the Apothecary, setting up my cottage in the town, meeting people, drinking mead, doing the grail quest and generally settling in, the realm suddenly went quiet.
It seems everyone is on holiday or busy, all roleplay quests seem suspended until they come back and the place has been a little ghost town like.(see picture)

However last night, when out collecting herbs, I was set upon by a very hungry Orc, bashed over the head, tied up and taken to the Orc camp to be munched on for tea!!

(suddenly things were not so quiet after all!)

Thankfully the brave Knight, Sir Kendell heard my screams and yells and came to the rescue.
At first the Knight and the Orc did battle, but it soon became clear, as I was tied up at his feet , that many of the blows directed at the Orc were hitting me.
The Knight then set about convincing the Orc that he would bring him a better meal than me and he set off to kill a deer to bring to the camp.The Orc then placed me in a cage for safe keeping.
While Kendell was gone the Orc weighed up whether he should kill me anyway, put my head on a pike and wave it above the walls and pretend I was still alive.
I was torn between laughter at the Orc putting on a girly voice and prancing around being a 'lady' and terror at the thought that he might actually do what he suggested.

Thankfully I managed to stay alive long enough that Kendell could return having fetched the deer.
The Orc then ordered me to skin it(blrgg) for the him , which I did (not very well) and then while he chewed Kendell and I legged it.
The handsome Knight then gave me a ride home on the back of his horse.

What a great evening!
thanks to the Knight and the Orc

A new realm

Back to work today, feeling a little more human.
Teaching 40 kids about the most amazing birds in the world. Great fun.
Last couple of weeks have been a little lost, slightly unreal.

Speaking of unreal......

On the recommendation of dear mister Hobbit, I have been spending some time in Carmarthenshire.

After Triskele it became clear to me that I need to have a roleplay place in SL. Wandering around SL randomly confirmed much of what I felt when I first joined over a year ago. So much of the virtual world is shallow , concerned with commercialism and strangely false. Yet I feel at home in a roleplay environment, where the concerns are more human (or elf, dragon ,fae). More about people, less about money

Weirdly some of the most real encounters seem to come in these doubly unreal places. Perhaps it is because I am slightly shy. Taking on a mantle of 'Wren the villager' or 'Wren the healer' helps me to feel more able to speak to people. The words are still my own and generally come from the heart, but the mask helps (most of the time) to hide any awkwardness.

It probably says a lot about me that I find other SL interactions tricky, and invariable end up on the perimeter feeling like a wallflower. I don't suppose this is a good thing, but its me I guess.

Anyway, it seems for me to 'be' in the virtual world I need roleplay. So Carmarthenshire is being scoped, and so far it's looking very interesting.

Sacred Nature

My husband and I were watching a documentary the other night about the nomadic horse peoples of Mongolia.
As part of this documentary it was noted that they regarded the animals at a particular lake as sacred, the wildfowl and particularly the whooper swans which nested there.
There have been similar documentaries we have also watched recently in which certain cultures or religions hold animals in a high regard, as special or sacred to their Gods.

It occured to me that Christian belief doesn't have this connection to animals and nature.
Is this right?
Thinking back on my Bible stories I cant think of any which venerate animals or nature? (other than the Arc) and I am unaware of any animal sacred to Christians.
I am sure those of you who know your Bible better than me (I am looking at you Old Crone!) might put me right, and I welcome any stories that I don't know about.

But perhaps this is part of the reason I have always felt a little detached from the Christian tradition (that and the role of women, which OC and I were also discussing recently).
I find in my RL as well as my SL, that I gain great spiritual strength from the natural world. For me just 'being' with the world can reveal wonders and beauty which often my everyday life can block.
When I spend time outside I can almost feel the connections that bind us to each other as humans, that connect us to the rest of creation and , I believe, connect us to something greater.

Burning bridges

Well I finally stopped debating and took some action.

I have left the Clerics Guild for good.
I wrote a farewell note, which I handed to Scyber to send to the Guild as a whole, I packed up all of my things from the guild building and I left.
(I still have my island, and will keep it until I can find another quiet spot to make a natural haven in.)

I realised the only thing keeping me was the people.
I had lost all faith in the stability of realm, the likelihood of anything happening for UK timed people, my search for the natural in the 'realm of castles' and my ability to work with the 'free' roleplay model.
So my heart wasn't truly there anymore. Better to have a cleric who still has faith to lead.
So I say farewell to Parlamay, my created Goddess, and hope that she ends up in safe hands.
I say farewell to all the wonderful clerics who I have had the honour of being with over this year,
and as I approach my Rez day, I look at how I might find future inspiration in Second Life.

Anyone with any ideas?

Freedom

Last night I was inworld for a cleric meeting. It was to be a speakers meeting with our new Divine Emissary Scyber Magne, to go over various Guild things and plan ahead.
Malakyte, Scyber, Alphonsus and myself attended.

I must say it was great to see Alph again after so long, even if it was to see him cut down his involvement in the guild and step down as Emissary.

Anyway it became apparent soon that the meeting was going to take a different tack, when we discovered that the new dark realm ruler Sarin had started his own cleric group, with 9 members worshiping 5 dark Gods who don't even appear in our Pantheon. Then we also discovered that the founder of the group was the realm queen Leanne.

I have spoken briefly to Sarin in the past about another issue, and he seemed OK, just having fun roleplaying and doing his evil thing.
However he has a very different view of the realm than I do I suspect. His world is driven mainly by him, he plays the moment, not the game as a whole, 'If it feels right, go with it'. I guess he's a shootem up player, rather than a strategist.
I tend to over think things, look at the intricacies of the world, feel the threads that bind us and try and strengthen them. I have always played strategy and puzzle games.
I would love to know how the realm leaders play Triskele.

It has always been billed as a freer place than Everwind was, in fact Leanne recently told me in plain words that all Guilds were instructed to NOT copy Everwind in any way.
And yet Guilds were formed, and encouraged to develop and make rules and guidelines and get people involved in 'group belonging', not just individual roleplay.
I was asked to help out, despite wanting to be just a plain acolyte again, and I agreed (foolishly or not)
So for the last 4 months or so, Alph, Mal and I have been working hard to make the guild, form orders, recruit clerics, write spell lists, create Pantheons, provide a place for worship, decide ranks, make tasks etc, etc,... which we have been hard at work doing.

So the question is this. Have we got it wrong?
Is what they want in Triskele a truly free roleplay? one driven by the individual, free to do as they please. Anarchic, independent, dynamic, ever changing and unbound.
Or is it one where the individual is guided by the group? Ordered, loyal, steady, joined by friendship and boundaries, honourable.

One is very different from the other, both can be great in their own ways, both with brilliance and flaws.

If the first is what is wanted, then we have wasted the last 4 months setting boundaries that were not required.
If so, then the Clerics can be freed, to roam where they will *chuckles* do as they please, worship whomever they choose, and I can head off into the ether and find my nature Goddess somewhere else.

I have had a couple of meetings in SL the last few weeks with a most interesting person. His SL name is Soren Ferlinghetti, and I referred briefly to his survey in a previous post.
He is an Assistant Professor of Religious Studies at Manhattan College, and has been doing some research into virtual worlds, religion and AI.
I have really enjoyed discussing our world with him, he has prompted me to look closely at what I do in SL, what I believe in in RL and how these things meld together (or not), and he seems like a nice guy too.
If your interested you can take his survey here:

http://home.manhattan.edu/~robert.geraci/SLSurvey.html

it only takes a short time to do, you don't have to be religious to do it and the results could be most revealing.
I think he has missed out a few questions which I would be interested in exploring, however the idea's in it are good.

I suspect I will be blogging about some of the things he has got me thinking about soon.
I really like getting a bit of brain ache looking at all this *chuckles*

Off on holiday with the family for a few days now, see you all soon!

Many Worlds?

Last night I watched a fascinating documentary called "Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives". It followed the singer songwriter Mark Everett as he tried to understand his father Hugh Everett's scientific theory, and ultimately to try and understand his father better also.

Hugh Everett came up with an interpretation of quantum physics which essentially meant that every time we make a decision or choice we split, and somewhere there exists a universe in which we made the opposite choice to the one we are living now.
I am no scientist and the finer details of this theory leave me baffled, so i wont delve deeper into the science. But it certainly caught the imaginations of many writers, filmmakers and artists. The Parallel universe idea seems to appeal, I suspect because we all wonder, when we look back, what if I had done this? how different would my life be now?

It occurred to me last night that if we apply the theory to Second Life, then there are millions of other second lives also out there,where we have all made different choices.
I wonder what they are like?

On a totally different note, I read a really interesting study of Second Life religion recently, http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2008/02/the-soul-of-sec.html
its not finished, but it makes stimulating reading.

Am I a Geek?

Dictionary.com

geek Slang.
–noun 1. a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.
2. a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)
3. a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Origin: 1915- 20; prob. var. of geck (mainly Scots) fool < D or LG gek]


*chuckles*
Well I certainly have never bitten the head off a chicken, but I was wondering about my relative geekieness the other day.

I was attending a parents meeting at my kids primary school, and when chatting to a couple of other mums, mentioned that I spend some of my time in Second Life. After briefly describing the place to them, I got a look of complete bafflement, and a polite smile.
Most 'normal' people I meet and chat to about this can't understand it, and god forbid what they would think if I were to mention dragons, hobbits and elves being friends. My husband would term me as a geek I guess.
I have always thought of a geek as a young adolescent boy, who spends his time quoting Star Trek, doing difficult maths, reading comics and playing computer games. I never considered that I might fit this category too.

I do play computer games and always have, but not obsessively.
I have watched Star Trek in the past, but I cant speak Klingon and have never attended a convention.
I used to read comics, and still seriously respect certain comic artists and writers.
I have read many Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels, although I have read many other kinds of books too.
My maths is awful, although I do have a very logical brain and enjoy puzzles and codes of all sorts.
I am certainly shy and awkward in busy social situations, and have always been a little 'odd' (in a nice way)
and now I spend my evenings playing with Gods and Goddesses, fairies and orcs, in a virtual world.

I blame it all on my mother making me a Wonder Woman costume for my 6th birthday

Perhaps I should be termed Geek, embrace the geek in me and declare it proudly. But I really wish that others could understand and not look at me as if I am not quite right *grins*

Being real in an unreal world

I was having a talk with a close SL friend last night, about the nature of reality.(as you do!) and it got me thinking about all sorts of things.
Why? being the foremost of these questions... and the one that prompted the discussion in the first place.
Why are we all in Second Life? What are we looking for? Is it just a game? or more...

My guess is its different for us all, and perhaps some people would rather not think about it at all, but it has me wondering.
My friend suggested that we might be missing something in our RL, that we can find that in our virtual lives. Perhaps its the company of others?, acceptance, fun, excitement, creativity, consumerism, wealth, desire, or even..dare I say it ..love?
What ever it is, if its an emotional thing we are looking for, can we truly get it in the virtual world?
How can we truly know the people we interact with? are our emotional reactions genuine?.

This goes double in a roleplay environment. A character in a RP may behave differently from the person playing that character, as can the RL person playing the SL person, who plays the RP person...(reads this again and thinks hard)

For example: The other day an Acolyte contacted me because they were unsure of the direction they were going within the order. I met up with this person and had a long heart to heart conversation with them, we mulled over the problems and found a way forward. At the end of it, I felt genuinely very warm towards this person, and pleased and happy that we seemed to have sorted the problems out together.
My RL self, had a genuine feeling of happiness....and yet, I have no idea if I really helped this person. Perhaps it was just an act, that they knew exactly what they wanted, and playing the 'game', with me was part of the fun. After all, Wren is not me, she also is a fantasy construct, and part of our RP 'game'....perhaps my genuine feeling was based solely on a false occurrence.....what does that say about me?
Is this deeply disturbing? my friend would probably have me committed!

Strangely in this SL roleplaying world, where we can be who or whatever we want, my character Wren, is actually a lot like me. She's practical, creative, kind, a teacher, friendly and slightly shy.
I wonder if we are actually all playing little parts of ourselves in here, interacting with little parts of others from around the world, and that even if your dressed up as a fairy, a dragon, a mermaid or even a tiny panda, its the way you behave with others that shows some little thing about your RL self.
Perhaps.. and I hope this is true....when we have an emotional response to a situation in the virtual world..the genuine parts of ourselves that are involved, make those emotions valid.

(rubs the wrinkles from her forehead at all this deep thought, and goes to make another cup of tea)

Gerrof my land!!

I am a landowner!... well renter actually, not quite so grand.
But I have my own piece of SL for the first time ever, and am now faced with what to do with it.
I decided to get a quiet place for meetings etc, that wasn't in the realm, and therefore didn't have any problems with interruptions, OOC things and rezzing objects etc
So I have rented a 'fantasy friendly' bit of land in a PG sim, and now have a blank canvas to work on.
I am limited in prims, so it will have to be simple, but I am looking forward to it immensely.
Its funny, I have been so busy with all the admin things I have been doing as speaker, that I had forgotten to have fun here.
Its nice to be allowed to be creative for myself, in my own time.
I wonder what will happen?

Time to wrap up, its cold outside

Well the snow is blanketing the ground in the realm now, and I felt it was time to find some warmer clothes for Wren.

So off we went to the SL Exchange to find something.

Now Wren is a bit fussy about what she wears. She's fairly poor, has very modest taste in clothes and wont wear fur, so we were in for a challenge.

I typed 'winter' in the women's clothing search and had a look at what came up.

Unfortunately it seems that even in the depths of winter, the residents of SL still have a yearning to wear as little as possible

The young christmassy lady pictured here, was the general theme.

Now Wren feels she might get a little frosty wearing an outfit like this, not to mention the comments she might get from her acolytes.
Although it might give them a chance to try their skills at curing hypothermia and frostbite!

Needless to say she didn't go for it. In the end we found a nice burgundy dress and a warm wool coat and cloak.

Perhaps I can convince her to try something more skimpy for the Christmas Party!

The beauty of change

Well, i'm back.
Broadband has returned and so has Everwind. I am actually quite glad I missed the whole crisis.
It seems that there was some bad feeling in the realm towards the King for leaving, and too much gossip by half. Anyway things have worked out between them now and he has come back.

Me, I went away for a while, missed it all, and came back to a world reborn.
The Realm has squashed into two sims, rather than three, but somehow it has worked.
Whoever actually manipulates the land and places the buildings etc in the realm (I am presuming its Queen Grace) has a real eye for beauty. I know its not real, its simply a computer generated world, but standing on the hill, looking at the autumn colours in the trees, listening to the sounds and catching the sparkle of the waterfall, is amazing.
Then I look up at it's started to snow! I cant tell you how excited I was (we have no snow in RL yet), it was like being a kid again. How odd that even virtual places can give you that sense of wonder in nature.

Wren

Treading softly

Although I am still not able to get back to my second life, I have been hearing vague rumours via email and IM’s that all is not well with the virtual world.
It seems that Everwind has been going through a crisis.
The King and Queen of the realm (the sim owners) have split up, and the King has taken half the world away with him!
Its yet another thing which underlines how unreal it all is, and fragility of the place. That a King can leave his kingdom, and actually take it with him, mountains, rivers, buildings, the lot... It takes a bit of getting used to.
I had just begun to get a real feel for the place, to find a role for Wren and begin to think on how to forge out a permanent place, and now..??
I guess the whole of second life is like that, dynamic, changing, creative and destructive at the same time, that's what makes it unique.
Its like the people who make it, like the thoughts in their head, a virtual representation of their dreams, fantasies and in some cases nightmares. Its unlike anything I've ever come across, and that's what intrigues me.
Hopefully Everwind will continue, and by the time I return things will have settled down.
If not then I guess I can go find someone else's dreams to wander around in.
Don't worry I’ll tread softly!

Its funny how things works out (or not)

Its ironic. I started this blog, primarily to chat about my experiences in Second Life. And now I cant get in!!
Due to a clerical error on the part of my telephone provider, British Telecom, my home phone was cut off. (they thought I was moving house, which I am not) After a week of huge stress, I finally have my phone back, but now my internet provider has cut my broadband. Due to the line being re- connected they cancelled my contract and I cant get broadband back for 7 to 10 days. So its back to slow-slow dial up, and this means that Second life is out of bounds.
I usually inhabit the Realm of Everwind, a fantasy roleplaying sim, and was really looking forward to the grand ball at the castle, which was held last night.
But sadly 'wren'derella couldnt attend, thanks to the big bad fairy that is BT. (*sigh*I bought a new dress and everything!!)

One thing that this whole episode has made clear to me, is how much I depend on the internet in my life.
It was quite shocking.
I bank online, I do much of my work admin/emails etc online, I book train tickets, use maps to find the schools I visit, look up facts and figures, order things, buy presents on ebay, etc.. etc.. and when thats all done I spend much of my spare time playing my part in Everwind.
Its strange to think that this hunk of metal, wires and electricity, plays such a big part in my life.
But I suppose its more than just that, its a portal to all the people, places and services that I need...the wires simply connect us.